


I show not your face but your heart's desire

by saltylikecrait



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Body Image, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mirror of Erised, Referenced Child Neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 15:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15003752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltylikecrait/pseuds/saltylikecrait
Summary: This was not the first night she spent in the library after hours in front of this mirror.





	I show not your face but your heart's desire

**Author's Note:**

> For Finnrey Friday Theme: Hogwarts AU
> 
> There are quite a few of these and originally I was leaning towards the other theme for the week, however, I was working on the dark mirror chapter of my TLJ rewrite and said to myself: "He stole this idea from Harry Potter, didn't he?" This fic almost wrote itself.

She stood in front of the mirror, gazing into the reflection of herself.

“Let me see my parents,” she begged. “Please.”

The reflection in the mirror shifted, showing her the image of two people she believed were her parents. Rey could see herself in their pale skin, the color of the woman’s hair, the shape of the man’s face…

This was not the first night she spent in the library after hours in front of this mirror. Ever since she found it weeks ago, Rey found herself drawn into the pull of its enchantment. She snuck in at least three nights out of a week, longing to gaze into the faces of the people she wished to know. It would be so easy to be bewitched by this mirror, she imagined; so easy to spend her life staring into the reflections until she withered away into nothing, no longer the reflection of the girl she was.

She would think a Ravenclaw would be smart enough to understand this and reject the mirror’s captivation, but she still fell a victim to it and it was so easy for her to sneak into the library after curfew.

Rey, now a third year, had been doing this since she became brave enough in her first year to see how much she could toe the line of Hogwarts’ rules. Sneaking around came naturally to her, after all, she had years of practice while scavenging for scrap metal and electronic components out of junkyards and landfills. She had to if she wanted to survive. Her foster family turned out to be another one of those awful families that only allowed her into their home to get an extra boost of income from the government.

When she got her letter from Hogwarts, she had been overjoyed to discover that she could live in a world she had thought would only remain a fantasy that she told herself to keep her going when times were rough. She only had to deal with her foster family for a few months out of the year, telling them that her parents had left behind a fund for her to attend the boarding school that her mother had gone to and that she would only be back in the summer, if they still wanted her around and didn’t send her back to the system, that is. So far, she had only returned to them and back to a few months of awful scavenging that only was bearable because she knew that in September she would return to her real home.

But she never knew her parents; couldn’t remember their faces or if magic flowed in their veins like it did hers. Because of this, she wasn’t sure if the mirror was showing her the real faces of them or if it was just reflecting the image she had created in her mind.

Some nights, she would sit in front of the mirror and cry in her solitude, keeping her sniffles muffled so she would not rouse the attention of anyone patrolling the area. If she heard as much as a ruffle of pages, she would hide behind a bookcase close to the corner of the room, pushing herself into an empty shelf that was big enough for her to curl up in and facing away from the main area of the room so she would not be spotted. The space was already a lot more cramped than she remembered it to be when she first discovered it and she wondered how long it would be before she outgrew it.

A shuffle of footsteps startled her out of her thoughts and she quickly turned to dive into her hidden spot. She only stopped when she heard a whisper of her name and turned her head to see her best friend in a patterned cotton bathrobe and gray sweatpants. Draped over his arm was a long piece of flowy black material that resembled the robes of the school uniform. The fluffy red slippers were a nice touch, probably her favorite part of this ensemble.

“Nice outfit, Finn,” she commented with a smirk.

He looked down at his clothes and then with a smug smile raised his head high. “Guy’s gotta look good when going out, you know. I bet you that soon this will be all the rage. I’m a trend setter around here.”

“Yeah, right,” she teased. “And Hux will be wearing his bathrobe to class.” She thought of the Slytherin prefect that took the school uniform so seriously that he was often seen fumbling with his green tie, trying to make it perfectly pin-straight and crease-free. He often looked like he was about to have an aneurysm whenever Finn walked around in his somewhat unconventional civilian clothes.

But Rey knew that Finn’s love of looking good had more to do about his upbringing and trying to hide it away than being voted Best Dressed. Like Rey, Finn had no family to speak of and was raised by a not-so-kind woman in an all-boys orphanage. At least Finn liked some of the boys there, but he had no idea if they would still be there when each summer came. He was happy for them when they were finally adopted, but he also knew that many of them decided that they would rather take their chances on the streets than wait around for something that might never happen. Finn’s clothes came from second-hand stores and donations. He was good at seeking higher quality clothes to hide the fact he had almost nothing. Rey thought he looked particularly good in darker shades of red that complimented the deep brown tone of his skin. The Gryffindor scarlet and gold was perfect for him.

“How did you know I was here?” she finally asked.

He rolled his eyes. “I would know where my best friend would be, wouldn’t you think? Especially if she didn’t turn up at our meeting spot like she said.”

And that made Rey cringe, forcing her to look away from him so she would not meet his eyes out of guilt. She _had_ forgotten that she and Finn were going to meet and do some exploring, probably eventually hiding out near the kitchens where they wouldn’t have to be afraid of getting caught. 

They did this at least once a week since they first arrived at Hogwarts, becoming fast friends after bonding over their initial confusion over Platform 9 3/4 and sharing a compartment together on the Hogwarts Express. They were in similar positions and learning to navigate this new world on their own was easier when they had someone to share their fears and their shortcomings with. Rey was disappointed when they had been separated by house, but after Finn received the only possession left to him by his father, an invisibility cloak, they had found out a way to spend more time together.

The mirror was taking her away from the person she cared about the most by luring her with false promises and pretty images. And for that, Rey was ashamed of herself and her eyes welled with tears at the thought.

“Woah, hey…” Finn held his hands up like he was trying to soothe a wounded animal. “What’s wrong?”

But she only shook her head.

“Did you want to be alone? I can leave…” Finn was panicking, afraid that she was angry at him.

Rey gasped and held her hands out to stop him, to convince him that he wasn’t the issue. “I’m sorry that I forgot,” she sniffed, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. “It’s not you, I promise.” Then she grabbed his hand and led him over to the mirror. “I need to show you something.”

With a quick glance at the mirror, Finn looked back at her, his face etched with the markings of confusion. “What is this?” he asked. “A mirror?”

 _“This_ has been distracting me,” she explained. “I’ve come to the library for a couple of nights each week to see this.” Approaching the mirror, she saw the figures of her parents staring back at her. “Look,” she pointed. “I think these are my-”

Before she could finish, Finn gasped and nearly shoved her out of the way to stand in front of the mirror. “Rey, look at this. Can you see it?”

Taken aback by his behavior, she figured by the way he acted that he was not seeing what she had seen in the mirror. “What do you see, Finn?”

Turning around in his steps suddenly, he looked at her like he was afraid he was seeing things. “I- you don’t see it?”

“Not what you see, I bet.”

He described the image. “I’m an adult, and I’ve left the home for boys,” he starts. “Magic has given me a career I enjoy. I’ve mastered invisibility spells, and I have created a longer-lasting invisibility cloak. The Ministry of Magic has offered me a job. I can finally afford what I need and what I want. And-” he stops, a blush appears across his face and he looks at Rey with embarrassment.

“And?” she prompts.

“You’re there, too. With me, I mean.”

Thinking she understood the implication of his sentence, Rey decided not to press any further. He just confirmed her initial thoughts about the mirror, and what the mirror showed was private. His greatest desires should not be left to her prying eyes, yet at the same time, she liked the thought of being at Finn’s side long after Hogwarts, there were even times she had glanced at him and realized he was going to be handsome once he got out of the awkward teenage stage. It looked like he had more growing to do and his voice had begun to change.

Rey had also noticed changes with her body, some better than others, and she hoped that she would finally fill out a little. She was not all skin and bones like she had been when she first arrived, but sometimes she felt self-conscious about this, especially after she returned from summer and eyed the welcome feast with longing while the first-years were sorted into their houses. The other girls her age looked fed and some of them were already developing the body shapes that Rey could only hope she would have one day.

She particularly was not happy when one of the girls told her it was such a shame she paled so quickly after she returned to Hogwarts, having tanned over the summer in a way that the other girls wished they could. Rey had to bite back retorting that her tanned skin did not come from hours lounging out in the sun, but that she had to spend hours outside working if she wanted to eat.

But enough of the bitterness, she told herself, returning her thoughts to the present. With honestly, she answered Finn. “I think that sounds nice.”

This made Finn smile widely, if a little bashful, before he changed the subject.

“What do you see?”

“My parents.”

“Oh.” Finn’s face fell and his eyes shifted between her and the mirror. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

With a shrug, she said, “I never knew them. It’s natural to want to.”

“I suppose so.” Finn once pointed out to her that his father’s invisibility cloak at least was proof he once existed, that they shared a connection through magic. He hadn’t learned the whole story about him yet or learned what happened to his mother either. Rey, however, had no mementos of her family. She was left at a hospital with a note that her parents could not keep her and that when they could, they wanted to take her back. She was too young to remember them and no one had told her if they were ever located or if anyone even tried to. Unlike Finn, she had no proof that they were real or if she should still hope they would keep their promise.

“I need you to take me away from here, Finn,” she told him, reaching her hand out and pleading for him to take it. “I keep coming here, staring at this mirror for hours and I know it’s messing with my brain. And every day, I have to force myself from coming here. It’s like it wants me to keep staring at it forever.”

He nodded and reached for her hand. “The moon is pretty tonight,” he said. “I saw it from Gryffindor Tower. We could go up to the owlery.”

“That sounds nice.” And then with her thanks, she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.

When her lips brushed against his warm skin, Finn flushed red about ten times darker in the face that Rey thought would be possible for anyone to achieve.

“I-I-” he stuttered and looked over at the mirror once more. “Why do they keep such dangerous stuff in a school anyway?” he asked, like he was trying to change the subject again.

And that was certainly a question for the ages.


End file.
